Congrats! You’re getting married!

My nephew is getting married and I have offered to help him find a photographer, as well as pick my brain on all things wedding.

And I am going to share that with you all! Here’s what I wrote to him:

It will be a fun run up to your wedding and it will be overwhelming at times though. Not can be, will be. And that’s ok.

I hope the following will help.

This will not be a completely organized list. Because that’s how my brain works. But I will break it into sections and try to keep things within the sections.

One small recommendation – feel free to look at the wedding ‘guides’ on the knot et al…and know that I too write ‘content’. I write for a gardening website, but the idea is the same – quick, easily to read and understand, and short. Checklists and a lot of ‘5 things…” Realize they are for clicks and not really all that helpful. FTR my stuff is as helpful as I can make it in those 300 to 500 words – but there’s so much I have to leave out.

Better – Ask your married friends what they liked and didn’t like. What they would do again and what they would not. You’ll get better info that way then someone writing for clicks. Also, there’s bad info – one of the favs in the vendor space is ‘don’t tell them it’s a wedding’. Very bad advice. For various reasons…mainly your vendor may not come prepared for the wedding. Instead, have a real budget and allocate the money to things that matter to you both and agree to where you may need to compromise. Plan the wedding you can afford.

Pinterest: perfectly ok use/show as inspiration! Any creative person will have their own style. Use pinterest to find a good match with your creative vendor team. Example, if a couple came to be with a pinterest board of light and airy/full of soft pastels and blown out whites, and wanted to hire me for their wedding, I would graciously decline. That’s not my style.

OK here we go!

You have the date and place!

Next you need to lock in the music and the photographer as soon as possible. The pandemic is still affecting booking trends – 2025 has been slow. 2026 & 2027 are looking like they are back to normal.

For the music:

Decide if you want a DJ or band.
If a band, how many members?
High energy? Or more subdued?
What type of music?
Who’s in the audience?
Will there be music for cocktail? Or an ipod
Is the ceremony at the location and do you need ceremony music? Will they provide or a single separate musician provide? Or an ipod?
Most have min # of hours.

For the photo:

What style do you like?
Some charge by the hour and some have packages.
Decide if you want a first look. With your soon to be spouse? Or with a parent?
Decide if you want all the family formals done before the ceremony. Why? Because then you can enjoy your cocktails and party without being pulled away.
Table photos – please no. The guests hate them. No really, they hate them. If you must do it, I’ll explain how to do it with the help of the DJ in 30 mins.
How much coverage do you need? Average full wedding coverage starts with getting ready for the bride, a bit of groom getting ready thru to the first 30 mins to hour of dancing – and then we leave.
All the above will give you an idea of how many hours you‘ll need.
The photographer builds the timeline for photos with input from the caterer and DJ.

What’s included in my rate:

This includes my time on site – I get there at least a 90 mins to two hours early to walk around, check that the timeline has not changed or if it has – to adjust what I need to, to locate areas to use, to see what the light is – all to be ready to start at the start time. It may include a 2nd photographer and assistant. It includes all the time spent planning and communicating, as well as overhead costs, such as needed insurance, software, gear, etc.. It includes all final edited jpegs in a private gallery for the client to share and download. Rough average of delivered files: 60 to 75 images per hour. It is hard to guarantee a set or min number of images because each event is unique and there are way too many moving parts.

Rough timeline and your mileage will vary:

Getting ready 15 min. Tale of getting ready.
First look and couple only portraits 30min.
Family formals – wide card. An hour – depending on the number of people. Ends 15 to 30 mins before the ceremony.
Ceremony 30 mins if done at the venue.
Cocktail 1 hour – could be 1:15 if you don’t do your portraits before the ceremony.

Roughly 3.5 to 4 hours on site here – you need time to move from one space to another in between these estimates.

Party 4 or 5 hours – you may only want the first hour.

Things can and do run off schedule – budget for one more hour than you need in case you need it.

Things that can make you run late.

If you have hair and makeup booked – tell them the end time/start of photography.

The bride(s) never go last. They should go first with touch ups or the middle.

Any attendants absolutely must be ready for HMU. That means following the instructions of the hair and makeup artist – so if your attendants are to come with hair washed and dried, they come ready that way. And they come on time.

As an aside – feed your vendors. Hair and makeup could be with you for five or six hours. Include them in the coffee and bagels headcount. Speak with your caterer. While the DJ can play music while they eat, photographers can eat and work. Feed the photographers and videographers when you eat. The caterer may balk, but if they eat last, the party/toast/etc will happen just as they get their meals. I worked 20+ years in video production. A well fed crew is a happy crew.

Videography – similar to the above – find one you like and nail down the details. They too are based on hours or packages and generally leave when photo leaves.

As a favor, be clear who is primary. I can count on one hand where a video crew worked well with photo. We both have to stand in the same place to get the same shot at the same time.

Photobooths –

This is where your couple personality can come out and be on display with props.
I love the non traditional 360 photo booths.
Greenscreen – you can put whatever you’d like behind it.
Mirrored – guests can see themselves better.
If they come with easy sharing – QR Code Photo Booths
AI photobooth – think greenscreen but it puts you inside the action.

Decor ideas – I have seen a lot.

Seating charts or table cards?
Seating charts – do it by last name and not by table – as you would table cards. Your guest will thank you.
You can work in your likes here – cookies, fall, outdoors, cannolis, travel for the tables along with numbers.
Centerpieces – keep them low so people can see and talk to those across the table. Again, you can work in whatever theme you want.
Flowers – ask around locally. Pick seasonal flowers. They are more abundant and will not be at a premium as out of season flowers. Better, local flowers.
At a wedding I saw the couple had empty champagne bottles and a paint pen. Because they loved sharing wine and champagne with friends and family – that’s what they did. So guests signed the bottles with good wishes.
I love this idea – for a guest book Wedding Guestbook, Jigsaw Puzzle Alternative Guestbook, Unique Alternative Guest Book Idea, Personalized Puzzle Sign for Bridal Celebration – Etsy
I’ve seen travel coffee table books used as guest books.

Swag – you don’t have to! But if you do:

Make it edible or useful. Please no living things.
Cookies – one of the best ideas I’ve seen. In a nice bag.
Wine – a bit more $ but with a personalized label and colored ribbon.

Random:

Flip flops for guests – mostly female. Because we hate our shoes.
Know when sunset and what direction is west if you want to try for sunset photos.
Research if anything else is going on or near your date – big sports games, holiday weekends, that will impact your guests’ ability to get there or to get a hotel room.